I dont understand my mood

Hi guys,

The past few days have been really terrible for me. I dont know if anyone can relate to this, but I really hyperfixate on an issue I have and its been driving me crazy. I question my own symptoms a lot and I start to spiral because of it. If my symptoms dont suit the ones of others, i dont really understand myself and i start questioning myself and my illness. Its really messing me up.

Struggling to identify my mood, my emotions and its really screwing me over. So much happened with me emotionally within the past few days. I felt really empty, then i felt super angry because i had a really shitty experience with my psychiatrist. You know the worst is, i dont even remember anything from the past few days either. Im really hung up on this aswell and i have no idea how to deal with it. Maybe its the fact that im paying attention to all of it drives me crazy. How i know im having mood swings if I notice how suddenly im not laughing anymore or suddenly im not sad anymore. Today It was very weird too, in the morning i was alright, i was drawing, then i felt upset, then i was happy again cause i was playing games, then you know it flipped over to being sad again. And now im just really confused. Please i really hope this doesnt come off wrong or something, im really struggling with this right now.

I just really need help, I dont understand my own emotions and moods. Are they switching too much? Am i just not aware of it happening? I feel like my Body reacts to things, but mentally im not aware of it. Like getting angry for example. I dont know... i dont know.. guys im so so confused about myself. I consantly question myself and just dont know.

I dont know how to deal with this