ran out of uni and cried like a pussy when i got home

i was already feeling really shitty. trying to calm down after having no one want to group up with me (because im such an idiotic 24/7 neurotic angry sad man and i know it literally doesnt matter) and then i saw what i look like in a door window. genuinely suicide inducing image of a hippoon with no shoulders, straight out of a caricature. im wearing my nice clothes too that i thought i passed in. my hair also makes me look like a girl even though up close it doesnt look that bad. i dont want to ever go outside because of what i look like. i got a nosebleed because i started crying so hard and it also makes me feel like im girly because its not manly to cry over stupid shit. considering cutting my hair right now as i have to go back in two hours but i always end up fucking it up even worse.