I want kids of my own but the idea of pregnancy and birth disgusts me and gives me anxiety

basically the title. I want kids of my own. I like the idea of having a mix of me and the person I love into one human but pregnancy and birth makes me want to vomit from anxiety. first, the fact that i’d have human growing inside of me, kicking around and rearranging my organs fills me with such disgust. it’s almost like that feeling you get when you hear nails on a chalkboard or a utensil scratch a plate. the feels wracks through my whole body and gives me the heeby jeebies 🥴 and then the whole.. baby sucking the life out of you for 9 months thing doesn’t really sit well with me. and then the really fun part.. birth. or even better, postpartum. I feel like so many moms try to glamorize it when in reality it’s a traumatic experience for everyone involved and SO many things go wrong. i’m just so terrified that I wouldn’t think that the baby would be worth going through all of that and conquering these anxieties. I also have women in my family who went through ppd and postpartum rage.. dealing with that, raising a newborn, taking care of a house, dealing with a whole new body. it all sounds so scary and just unbelievably hard and i’m honestly so scared that i’d regret it and hate my life forever. BUT… im also so scared that if I don’t try I would regret it forever too.