Weed can cause anxiety.. if you let it. [Hard-earned lesson]

Last few months, i've been struggling with feelings of anxiety when i smoke, especially combining weed with other substances.

Recently it came to my attention that taking proper care of yourself is essential to the experience of fully enjoying substances without negative affects.. and it makes sense this could be my issue. i hadnt been showering regularly, stretching or exercising, and had been eating like shit, leaving my home a mess. So i decided to take intiative.

I've cut back on constant weed consumption, started meditating, have been cleaning once or twice a day in some way, making all my own food instead of doordashing constantly.. also spending less of my time doomscrolling, and trying to keep my body and clothes cleaner.

Psychedelics have helped with this, and so has confronting my own mortality. i'm not sure how this has helped, but somehow.. letting myself be scared, and just.. accepting it, has helped me feel more motivated to get through my day. i also made the VERY difficult decision to rehome my cat, because while i miss him and love him.. his health was in jeopardy, and the pressure of owning a high-maintenance pet was becoming too much to work around with executive dysfunction. It was the hardest thing i have ever done, and ive done some pretty difficult things in my life.. but i feel we are both better off for it. The release of pressure has been a lot more impactful on my general quality of life than i ever expected. i have never not had a mammal under my care.. now i only have my snakes. It has given me a lot of time to work on myself in a way that, i would say, has seriously helped me better my mental health.

Using weed now, after making all of these big changes.. i only have anxiety now when it mix with a stimulant, like a high dose of shrooms or energy drinks. If i just avoid doing that, weed has actually become a really useful introspection & meditation tool for me, as well as a great social bonding apparatus.

I'm not sure what else to write here, or what the point of this post even was. i just felt the need to share what i've been experiencing as of recently, and i now plan on starting my own indoor garden and trying to grow my own vegetables & dietary supplements to save money, because healthy food is really expensive lmfao.