I am sososo lost right now

I chose to recover from an eating disorder around 1.5 months ago, and I have been steadily gaining weight VERY rapidly because of daily binges. I got diagnosed with ana b/p last week, when I already gained back a lot of weight. I dont know how but I think it triggered something in me and I have been nonstop binging since then and I am almost into the overweight category. I honestly dont see another side to this and I keep blaming it on EH but sometimes it feels like BED. My next meeting with the doctor and dietitian is in 2 weeks and I am so scared ill keep spiraling. I am unable to meet with them sooner and I just feel so lost and mentally unwell. Should I continue with this all-in approach? I have no way of getting guided support right now since they can not respond to my concerns until 2 weeks. I am just so tired of trying to not focus on my body when I can FEEL the puffiness.

I also keep surfing reddit and instagram and tiktok just seeking reassurance and its getting so so obsessive. I am just super lost right now