Feeling everything absurd

Hi , I'm 26 ,in past i was too motivated and wanted to achieve every material desires , i have put efforts and do the hard work but every attempt fails me and by consistently failure my desire of achieving has been gone and. now im going towards spirituality occult and there i get some interesting insights like in astrology how planets control us and much more and i feel satisfied and get the answer why this is happening, everything is connected but my ego comparison with others hurts me i know internally that this is ego but im unable to control it my emotions are too heavy