AITAH for wanting to open up my monogamous relationship to be with my current bf and a new man I met?

So I NB-22 have been dating M-22 for a little over two years. We have been long distance for 1.5 years. Because of this we know each other on a very deep level since our only for of intimacy is emotional since there’s no way to have physical intimacy. And before you say it, he lives 3500 miles away. So things are tough. But we work through it. We’ve gotten a handle on the whole long distance thing. Like what works for us and what doesn’t. and I really love him. But I think I may not be attracted to him. I’ve found myself always suggesting he get a piercing or dress with a style in mind because I find those things attractive. He’s told me that you can’t mold someone into what you want them to be. And he’s right you can’t. Not here’s the pickle I’m in. I have a crush on my friend I met a couple of months ago M-21. My bf does not have the same sense of humor as me. Does not like the same hobbies as me or take an interest in them. I am always the one putting in the work to do gift giving because I know that’s his love language. But he has moments where he says “I think you’re too good for me” or “I don’t think I’m being a very good bf” and most cases he’s been right about being a bad bf. He’s extremely sensitive to the point where we’ve had arguments over whether I was “raising my voice at him” and how that “made him feel hurt” when I was angry. I always apologize and change my behavior. Because I’m a good gf and I will change for my bf to be a better fit with him. He is the longest relationship I’ve had. So I don’t have anything to compare our relationship to. Back to the crush. I find myself fantasizing about him and wanting to send him playlists bc one of my love languages is music and my bf doesn’t care for my taste in music. But M-21 absolutely cares about my music. He loves all of it. And encourages me to send him more things I’m interested in because he cares. He goes out of his way to include me in things. He’s come to my house despite being very allergic to cats (I have 2) and didn’t even give it a second thought because he wanted to see me. He told me he’d just take allergy meds he keeps in his car if it got bad. The thing that got me though? We were at a gay bar and I was quiet and not eating my food or drinking and he just out of the blue asked how I was feeling. My bf never asks how I’m feeling unprompted. I was so taken aback by M-21’s question I had to ask what he meant. He kindly responded that if I was ready to go we could even though it would mean missing the main event going on that night. I told him I was tired and that was that. We left and he later texted me that he just got a massive migraine and it was a good idea to leave reassuring me that I wasn’t the only reason we left. Now, important to note. I am polyamorous and agreed to my current bf that I would be monogamous for him. But I’ve spoken to a poly friend and she told me that poly isn’t just something you can turn off. It’s part of your identity. Which I never considered. So, AITAH for wanting to open up my monogamous relationship so I can be with both men? Both of whom I’m attracted to hot but in different ways? I feel awful having a crush. And I would never cheat on my bf because I’d rather breakup with him. Nor do I even know if M-21 is interested in me romantically. What should I doooooo