As I get more and more into my faith, I get more and more scared?

So Ive been born Christian and have not consistently gone to church but my family and I do go. I’ve certainly had some questions, especially since everyone once in a while I see things that make me question my faith or hear things especially videos and comments talking about “religious psychosis” and whatnot.

1. How did you know God was real?

I’ve always struggled with it, since I never feel like I see or hear Christ. People say it sounds direct like you just know, but I haven’t had it yet. I hear my thoughts all the time so how do I know when it’s the Lord or when it’s just me? So since I never catch the “Holy Ghost” or any of the things people know it’s real, it makes me wonder.

2. If God loves us, why are things bad?

I know the story of Adam and Eve but then sin… and the world. And I pray (not consistently but when I remember, I do) and so do many others. I pray and I feel safe when I get anxiety, but so many others are unlucky… why? I feel protected but not everyone else is?

3. What now is considered sin? I see so many thins being counted as sins but then everyone has their own opinion? I’m a progressive Christian so I’m an ally to the LGBT community, and I respect other religions and dont force it onto others. Especially since I love romance but apparently that’s a sin too for lust or having a celeb crush and liking their appearance???

4. How do you deal with all the comments dictating our religion and others as fake?

5. How do you deal with the feelings when you’re non-religious friend or non-Christian friend and how we won’t remember them when we go to heaven? Like I have so many non-religious friends, some atheist, some Jewish and even an Hellenic Polytheist (or whatever it is). I am so scared to talk to them about religion since it’s a touchy subject. Especially with my Hellenic friend (who believes in Greek Mythology (I know mythology is a term for “fake” but that’s generally what it’s called)) and she always says “thank Zeus, or Aphrodite” and it makes me uncomfortable not because of her religion but the way she goes about it… idk how to describe it but it’s awkward sometimes but I don’t really care. But my main fear is forgetting them. Even with my sister I know she doesn’t like church bc it’s just a hard thing to get through (I get it) but idk her relationship and belief. And our religious relationships are different. I went to a Private Christian School for 2 1/2 years while she did preK at a church but doesn’t remember it; so it’s hard.

That’s basically all my questions rn but it’s hard but I try :) thank you