I miss my little siblings so much but I can’t see them

I (f) 14 haven’t seen my siblings (m)2 & (f)4 in almost a year, they live with my spermdonner. Who emotionally abused me and shamed me for years for being bisexual, he called me slurs, shamed me for SH instead of helping me though it, and said semi creepy comments to me. So I was done, last summer I went to stay for all of july, I got there on the 1st I think, and I left on the 5th, because we got into a big fight. Bc my mom said I could get my nose pierced but he wanted to make sure it was actually ok with her, I was on the phone with my mom he takes it and try’s to walk outside with my phone, I try to go outside with him bc he has broken things before and it scares me if he holds my things. He “stiff armed” me and then he threw my phone at me and called me teh F slur, R slur, weird, stupid, dumb, told me how I won’t watch HIS kids grow up if I leave, and among other things and saying how I ruined the whole month and we weren’t gonna go and do anything, he was drunk during all of this but I couldn’t handle it so I left, he lives four hours from my house and my stepdad drove immediately to come and get me

but because of all this I haven’t seen my babies in so long bc I don’t want to be near my father and I’m sobbing about it and I don’t know what I should do

(I already have told CPS, they did nothing.)