Should I quit my school soccer team?

Hi, I am a 10th grader  on the girls JV soccer team at my school, and yesterday I got ZERO playing time in the entire 70 minute game. Not a single minute. And this made me very upset. Let me explain my team dynamic now. I was on the soccer team in 9th grade as well, but very few people tried out, so everyone got it. In 9th grade, we had a different coach, and she would play me at least 20-30 minutes every game even though I was one of the worst. This year when I tried out, there were cuts and I somehow made it. I feel like there were girls better than me who got cut. But hey, I made the team, it’s not like I bribed them or something, it was THEIR choice. 

This year we have a new JV coach, a college student. Yesterday we were losing 3-0 for the last 20 minutes of the game, and had no chance to make a comeback, yet she didn’t put me in. She looked back to the bench multiple times during the game. She would make eye contact with me and then try to avoid it and choose another girl to play. I KNOW she is aware that she didn’t play me at all. I was thinking of asking her if I could play, but I saw other girls ask for playing time or specific positions, and she would proceed to get annoyed and sometimes ignore their requests, so I didn’t. But at least last year it wasn’t so bad since the coach played me and didn’t so obviously ignore playing me. I can’t lie, I feel like a burden on this team. 

Being on this team last year and this year has hurt my mental health. The girls play at much higher levels than my club team. I know I’m one of the worst or probably the worst player on the team. I feel like I bring nothing to the table. So I try to make use of myself in other ways, by always being the first one to bring in the balls, cones, and pennies to the practice field and grabbing at any opportunity to help out. I never try to ask for a specific position or playing time, in fear of being an annoyance. I remember last year I got so anxious when I thought I left my socks at home during a game day, and I would have to ask somebody on the team for some. I worried that I would be more of a nuisance for the team, than I already am. Yesterday, I cried for 30 minutes at home after the game, because I felt like I was played, betrayed…I showed up to all the practices, was always respectful, and always tried to do extra to not seem like a burden, to not get a chance to play. Being on this team has made me so stressed and anxious about every single action I do. I have spent a lot of time overthinking and worrying, to not get any playing time, and be brushed off and ignored. Not to mention, I have to pay $500 for this season(I haven't paid yet) and I spend 1-2 hours of my life at these games, twice a week, to not get any playing time. I felt so betrayed and humiliated yesterday. 

However this was the first game where I had zero playing time, but…this was also the second game of the season. I don’t feel hopeful for the rest of the season if my coach is gonna play me like this. I’m spending so much time, money, and hurting my mental health by being on this team. If I’m not gonna get any playing time should I just leave? I really don’t want to do that, since it would be a hassle for everybody and it would be humiliating for me. Instead should I try to ask her to play me during games, or maybe make her more aware of my issue with having no playing time? However, I’m really scared to talk with her, as she presents herself as a stern and bold person, and I am a more compliant person who is scared of confrontation. 

ALSO, I should mention my other game in this season, my first game. This game we were winning 5-1 for the last 20 minutes of the game and she only played me 8 minutes. The fact that we were winning by so much and she played me so little just reinforces my worries with playing time on this team. I don’t even care if I get only 10 or 15 minutes to play, I just want to play.

But, anyways what should I do?

(Sorry for the rant btw)