I wish I was fucking normal

I wish I was fucking normal

I wish I didnt get triggered by every little fucking thing

I wish I wasnt always convinced he's mad at me for every little fucking thing I do wrong

I wish I didn't cry so much

I wish I could be self destructive without it affecting him

I don't know why he loves me or puts up with me

I wish I wasnt such a fucking bitch 

I wish I knew what was so fucked up in my head that I cant just be fucking happy

I wish I could afford therapy or a psychologist to figure it out

I wish I didnt put him through so much bullshit

I wish I didnt shut down and snap so easily

I just want to be fucking normal

He deserves a normal girlfriend. One that's mentally healthy and doesn't act like this. 

I love him more than anything and I wish I could be the person he deserves