Can't talk with family members

So, For context, I am the youngest of all my 7 cousins and I have 1 brother my age but we just don't talk, and I can't talk with my other cousins, I feel like a outcast, like they all are close and they talk via whatsapp and call frequently but I don't talk with any of them, and because of this whenever we are together in a gathering, I can't say anything and instead end up being made fun mainly because of voice because I have a very deep voice in an appealing way for a girl, and same with my uncles and aunts like my own older sister is able to talk to them but I can't and also in the dinning table when they run out of topics I become the topics for laughing and sometimes I sutter and again ended up being made fun of, like one uncle literally said I talk in a answer questions manner, like I only speak when I am asked a questions but I genuinely don't know what to talk about, and as a child I started speaking quiet late and couldn't say some words properly and couldn't experience my feelings and idea in sentences properly, still struggle with it, so whenever I wanted to say anything other than jokes I have always been laughed at. I don't mean to say they are evil they are actually quiet good and maybe want to connect, I just kind of feel small and most of the time sacred to say things in front of them. And my sisters suitation, so their is only two year gap between us, but we were never really close, Like my sister has always been close to other family members especially with one cousin of her age, and she left to prepare for an exam in 11th grade at that time I was in 9th and when she left she never called, I called her few times but just ended up making a fool of myself, by oversharing, being too joyful and childish but she still talked normally with other cousins and this is one thing, I always feel too childish in front of my sister. And our parents fight alot and I was alone in home and was never able to stop the fight, but my sister was able to and last year when she came home she actually talked to me and even came cried in my room because of her boyfreind issue, I also once little bit cried with her in call but still regret it to this day, like we never had a relationship and now I being a baggage and I did it(didn't cried this time) agina I was telling her about one of my parent's fight and how I was feeling and she just said bye and never called after that. And I also have something called immersive daydreaming so for the whole 18 year of my life I have never really been present in my life and have made 0 friends but now that I am 19 I kind of being hit with all of this like what a loser not good at studies nor at making connections and with a commination issue. But I want to improve as I am young and will be going to a new city for college and I would have to live with my roommates and would like to make friends in college and in future. Thanks for reading ❤️ , If you have suggestions on what I can do to fix it, it would be really helpful.