I’m sick and tired of being everyone’s backup friend

Ever since I can remember, every “friend” I’ve ever had only wants to talk to me when their "real" friends aren’t around. I used to think I was being paranoid, but the pattern is so obvious now. Every time I make a new friend, they eventually leave me for someone else and only text me when their first choice isn't available.

It just happened again in college and I’m hitting a breaking point. One of my "friends" straight up ditched me for a guy she met literally two weeks ago. Now, she doesn’t even invite me to hang out anymore. She’ll literally walk out of class without me and only talks to me when she wants something or needs a favor.

It makes me feel completely worthless. I’m 18 and I’ve never experienced that loyal friendship everyone talks about. I just want to be like everyone else and have that one person who notices when I’m not okay. I’ll sit there and listen mindfully to all their problems for hours, but the second I try to talk about my own feelings, they just change the subject.

I don't know if I’m the problem or if I’m just too boring for people. I feel like I’m losing myself trying to be enough for people who only see me as a backup plan. My life feels like it’s just me being a background character in everyone else's story. I just wish someone would actually care.