My sister passed away

I just lost my sister and we left things on bad terms

I just lost my sister. I’m 34, turning 35 in May, and she had just turned 38.

On Sunday I got a phone call from my mom asking if I had heard from her. I told her no. The last time we spoke didn’t go well at all. We had a huge fight a few days before Christmas and said some of the meanest things you could say to each other. We ended up blocking each other after that.

The last time I actually saw her was in November 2024. I remember because I took photos of us together at a bar we met up at that night.

It really hurts knowing that the last conversation we had ended like that.

I’m also really hurting for her daughter. My mom has had custody of my niece for the last two years because my sister had her own struggles, and that caused a lot of tension between my sister and my mom.

Tonight I sat with my niece while my family was making arrangements for my sister’s funeral. At one point I completely broke down and had to leave the room with my grandpa, my mom, her four sisters, and the rest of the family. My niece saw me crying. Through all of this she has been incredibly strong. I haven’t seen her shed a tear since I got here. I drove four hours to be here with them.

We finally got the report back from the coroner. It said there was fentanyl, cocaine, and another downer in her system. Hearing that hurt in a way I can’t even explain.

When my mom first told me she had passed, I was sitting in a mall food court with my girlfriend. I started crying so hard I didn’t even know I could cry like that.

What makes this even harder is that she had just finished her teacher’s aide certification. She was trying to turn things around and become a better person. She always had her own place and was working toward something.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Maybe just to get it off my chest. I just wish things had gone differently.