lil help here

Okay so

My whole life I thought every woman didn't feel like a woman until they put on clothes and makeup, and it was essentially performance

finding out im intersex and being on feminising hrt i felt sad when i lost the masculinity of my junk instead of euphoric

I am realizing I have no connection to womanhood outside of visual looks aka expression

how does one know if they are an enby who wears girly stuff MOST days, or a guy who wears girly stuff MOST days?

both masculinity and femininity give me gender envy, i desire being able to do both voice types, and i like any pronouns. i feel most euphoric when people call me a mixture like girlboy etc

I thought this meant genderfluid BUT these feelings are fixed. They do not change day to day. What I feel like wearing does but thats normal and thats all that changes

i spent hours making a very realistic packer from scratch because having that there gives me so much euphoria, to see feminine sex characteristics blended with masculine ones on my body at the same time

if I had been raised male I would not want to be a female. id probably literally just be a femboy

i am wondering if anyone can relate and what conclusions were drawn?