How to Help My Husband

Hi. I'm a woman. My husband is in his early 30s, in my late 20s. My husband has struggled with depression his entire life. His most recent battle with depression has been mostly about his inability to find a job he wants and likes. He has voiced that he feels like a failure, feels stuck, hates his life and everything about it, never gets what he wants, God hates him, etc. I always try to listen. I try to be supportive. I try to encourage him. I try to validate his feelings.There's only so much that I can do for him. I'm just his wife. I'm not a mental health professional. I tried for YEARS and finally got him to try actually addressing his mental health instead of "just staying miserable for the rest of my life" as he often says. He tried counseling and therapy a few times. He says he hated it and won't ever try it again. He tried a mental health medication once for 2 weeks, said he hated it and will never try any medication again. He says he has no friends. I suggested maybe he join a club playing a sport he likes. He says he doesn't have time. This isn't true. I suggested he text friends that have texted him to keep in touch. He says "men don't text".

With this last bout of depression, I thought maybe I could try to help him help himself. He has submitted something like 1000 applications over the last 18 months with no luck and he's feeling stuck. A resume is a fixable thing. If you're lacking skills to get hired, add more skills. He was reluctant to talk about how we can help him get unstuck with the job search. I finally got him to agree to talk through what could be done to beef up his resume. He could get drone flight hours and build a portfolio - he always seems to find a reason he can't go fly his drone to build a portfolio. He could download, practice, and get certified in a CAD software he has some familiarity with. I found a sale on the software and had to bug him every day for a week to download the software. He won't touch the software or practice with it at all despite that being a clear gap that's easily fillable. He refuses to consider going back to school.

Look, I know I probably sound pushy. I love my husband and I want him to be happy. I'm at my wits end. I feel like I'm trying to help. I feel like he's capable of helping himself and is instead choosing to stay miserable by choosing to not seek professional help, or meditation, or to build his resume, or to reach out to friends, or to take steps to make new friends. Maybe because he's afraid of something? Because it's for some psychological reason preferable to trying to get unstuck?

I figured that if anyone could give me some guidance on how to help, it would be a group like this. I'm open to suggestions. If I'm doing something wrong or need to do something different, please tell me.

Thanks, A concerned wife of a perpetually stuck and sad husband