AITA for Telling Someone Their Comments About a Culture That’s Not Theirs Makes Me Uncomfortable

Hi everyone! Sorry for the weird title, the people in the story are very active on Reddit so I’m trying my best to post under the radar. This is my throw away.

For context, I (24 female) have lived in a house with 2 other girls (all in their mid-20s) for about a year now. Given that they lived here 2-3 years together before I did, they’re all a lot closer.

I am Latina, I am very proud of my culture, it is a huge part of my identity. I’ve also been very vocal about it given the recent political tension, and it’s just something I’ve always been proud of. I mean my parents crossed boarders for me, hell ya I’m gonna flex it.

Anyways, I noticed one of my roommates (we’ll call her Rory), has taken a liking to my culture. She says she’s surrounded by a lot of Latinos at work and she really likes bad bunny. She also said she enjoys spending time with “Spanish people” more than she does white people (she’s fully Caucasian). She also has always been very liberal, and prides herself on being an ally and friend.

However, lately she’s been making some comments about my culture, that has been rubbing me the wrong way. The other day I was sitting on the couch, and she came out in gold hoops and a red lip. She the proceeds to say “when I wear gold hoops and a red lip, I feel like “OYE MAMACITA”, for context she’s fully white. I asked her what that meant, and she said she’s been told she’s “spicy white”. She also doesn’t call Latinos Latinos or Hispanics, she calls us “Spanish people”. Honestly, there are times where she does nothing wrong, but it still kinda ticks me. She likes to practice Duolingo in the living room, and no she didn’t do anything wrong, but seeing a white woman practice Spanish so openly while Im getting told to not speak it, tell people my last name and to carry documentation everywhere was a punch in the gut. Again, not her fault, but it’s a constant reminder of the injustice. This rubbed me the wrong way, but honestly I don’t want to create tension at home so I shrugged it off.

Anyways, fast forward about 2 or 3 weeks later, the roommates sit me down for a roommate chat. They tell me that their close friend is moving to the city (we live in a very popular, very large city, where it’s hard to find housing mind you), and tell me he’s going to be taking over my room. I was taken a back, espically since they know I’m in between jobs (I have another one lined up the start date is just far), but didn’t want to fight because I mean what’s the point, why do I want to be in a house I’m not welcomed. I am a little worried because I’m also a student, and this was one of the few places I can afford. There was also no arguing, I did mention “I mean you’re kicking me out of my own home” and I would get met with “no that’s not what happening he’s our friend, he has been interviewing here in the city”, or even when I said I was worried about the move out date he said they said “that’s what month to month leases are for, and that’s when our friend has to move here”.

Anyways, they said “we don’t want to have any tension, we want these last three months to be comfortable”. So, I said “actually ya. There has been something bothering me and I want to address it so we can all have a comfortable last few weeks.There have been comments made about my culture that have made me really uncomfortable. I understand there’s a passion, but I feel sometimes it can cross a line”. Rory was shocked, and asked for an example. I told her the golf hoop hey mama it’s story. Her response was “those were literally words that were said to me”. It wasn’t in an apologetic or confused tone, not even like…an “it’s okay tone”, like a “it’s literally fine🤨” tone. I said “yes, but you’re still a white woman. You are still making comments about a culture that’s not yours”.

I don’t remember much about what was said after, but after that she pretty much went to her room and the discussion ended with the other two and I.

Am I being the asshole here? Maybe I should have told her at a private time, but it’s been so stressful with the recent ice raids and honestly the news I got I wasn’t in the best mindset. But also am I overreacting? I get she didn’t call anyone a slur, but I feel like the disrespect was there. Also, at a time like now where Hispanics are being so violently targeted, my culture is just such a sensitive topic.