Does anyone else get that anxiety ridden dread that just happens out of nowhere?

I don't even know anymore what's triggering it. It could be my break up, it could be the recent discovery that I could never form a good relationship with my abusive mom, maybe the situation of this house because my family are hoarders, or the fact that it's getting so hard for me to eat, I fucking hate eating. To top it all off, I don't have actual friends to talk to about anything, I don't have the type of friends that I would need, the ones I could hangout with or play games with, I don't have that. I'm extremely alone.

it's been hours already, starting from when I woke up, my heart hasn't stopped beating so fast, I hate everything, I don't know what I'm feeling I just know it's bad and the only thought that is forming is to end it all. I don't know what to do. nothing is calming me down. i don't want to sleep it off, I'm scared because I know I'll get awful dreams. I have no escape. I really don't know what to do. I just want everything to stop