My partner’s alter is always angry with me

I have CPTSD. My partner has DID. She has one alter that I’ve seen. Whenever this alter interacts with me it’s awful. Yelling, insults, manipulation, guilt tripping. It makes me sob uncontrollably because it cuts so deep.

I know my partner hates her alter. I know she doesn’t remember anything she says. I know this is trauma. I get it. I have trauma too. I love this woman so much and I’m happy we’re together, but the switching has started to happen more frequently and I’m tired. Tonight it happened, but this time I didn’t cry. I was numb.

Tomorrow she’s just gonna wake up, be horrified by what she wrote, then talk to me about how awful she is and how she doesn’t deserve to be with me, and I dread having that conversation again because I was just verbally attacked again and the only thing she has to say is about her being a terrible person. I know it’s a common feeling with DID but you just went off on me last night, why do I have to comfort you?

I’m just asking for any advice? Someone who has DID and has been on the other side of the coin, what did you do? How did you guys talk? Any help is much appreciated. We’re in couple’s therapy and we have individual therapists too.