My mental disorder is coming back and I don’t know what to do.

I have an eating disorder( anorexia ) which I don’t even look like I have it in my opinion, and ( bulimia ). I also have depression caused by my eating disorders. I haven’t thrown up in a month but I’m feeling disgusting and feel like I have to. I’ve been eating a max of 800 calories and work out for 2 hours and somehow I still look huge. My mom tells me I look two skinny but that’s just moms being moms right? Idk what to believe anymore. The people at my school say I look like I smoke crack idk if that has to do with my body or not. I’m just scared I’m gaining weight and idk what to do. I feel like I’m in a vortex of shit that just keeps recycling its self. I’ve also started to cut again. Which idk how to feel about it. It sucks but if I can’t look the way I want then I don’t want to be alive I don’t want to look at myself. I’ve had my eating disorders for 8-9 years I’m 17. I’m going to therapy but my therapist doesn’t do eating disorders and doesn’t understand the reason I’m depressed is because of the eating shit. What am I suppose to do.