Bisexual ex Muslim

It hurts to be stuck in the middle. I have a nationality from one of the most gay-friendly countries. But I just have no emotional connection to that country. Everything about it is different from the current country I live in. The one I live in is Muslim and criminalizes gay relationships, but I feel connected to its culture and people. It feels like my home.

Losing my family isnt an issue because I can be married and live far from them. But leaving this country is the hardest part for me. I still have the option of marrying the opposite gender, but I am more attracted to the same gender.