how do i snap out of this

throughout the whole 2 years i spent with my ex he sold me a dream of us being soulmates, me being the only woman he ever will love, the woman he wants to marry, etc. he left me a week ago and in the same breath told me he still loved me but just couldn’t see a future. he told his ex all of these same things 3 days after he left me and i feel so empty.

i am trying to remember the reality of the relationship which is that he was not a good partner or nice person to me. he would sit and watch me cry and just scroll on reels, call me needy and other names, would insinuate i was a slut because i had slept with more people than him (2 more people), and would manipulate me into thinking i was the problem anytime i would express that my feelings are hurt.

still with all of this information i can’t help but feel this need to be near him and be held by him, even if the “love” he had for me was never real the love i had for him was.