I really did try my best

I really did try my best to be there for my friends. I could've left, and no one would blame me since I'm l Young, and no one my age should be dealing with this, but I chose to stay. I wanted to help my friends, and try to convince them to keep living. I tried to stay positive, and listen to everything they had to say. I thought "as long as I could stop even 1 of them from committing suicide it would all be worth it." Turns out instead of helping I only made things worse. I was only trying to help someone else, but in the process I hurt my best friend all over some bitch ass misunderstanding... I tried to apologize, but you never listened. You genuinely thought that everything I did was an act, and I was gonna blackmail you with your trauma.

I was never trying to hurt you, but that doesn't matter anymore. I hurt you, and this lead you to hurting everyome else. You were allowed to hurt me because I hurt you, but not the others. They never wanted to hurt you. They had your back far more than I did.

I failed you. I failed myself. The only reason I stayed was because I wanted to help others, but I only ended up hurting you. Honestly I should just leave everything.

And to the person who this is intended for (you know who you are) I just wanted to tell you that I wasn't acting. I was genuinely trying to help you. I genuinely wanted to meet up when we were both older and drink a few beers. The only reason I got into a fight with you was because I thought we were close enough where we could argue, but still be friends after.