Someone contacted me claiming I’m their biological father from a relationship 16 years ago. I’m not sure what to do.

Earlier today I received an email from someone who says they recently learned that I’m their biological father. Their mother is someone I dated briefly back in 2009. The message was polite and didn’t ask for anything. It basically said they wanted to introduce themselves and see if I might be open to talking, and that they completely understand if I need time to process it.

The thing is, I had absolutely no idea this person existed. I haven’t had any contact with her since we broke up in 2009.

This situation is complicated by a few things. I now live in Asia and have been here over a decade. The person who contacted me appears to live in the US. I found out that she cheated on me with at least two other people during that relationship, so it’s entirely possible that I’m not actually the father.

Emotionally this has been a shock. My first instinct is honestly to ignore the message and move on with my life, but I also feel conflicted about that. I’m trying not to make a decision while I’m still processing everything.

I’m also concerned about the legal side of things. Since I live outside the U.S., I’m unsure what could realistically happen if someone tried to pursue paternity or child support after all these years.

I’m wondering how reasonable it would be to simply ignore the message and not respond. If I did respond, I’m also not sure what the safest way to do that would be without accidentally creating legal complications. I’m also curious whether a paternity case could realistically happen when the alleged father lives in another country.

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to be heartless here. This was just a huge shock and I’m trying to think carefully before making any decisions that could affect multiple people’s lives.

Has anyone been in a situation like this or have any perspective on how to approach it? I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing and would appreciate thoughtful advice.