[31F] After 10 years with my partner [34M], I know this relationship is unhealthy but I feel emotionally stuck and can't seem to let go

I'm a 31-year-old woman and I've been with my partner for about 10 years. I'm really struggling because part of me knows this relationship has become unhealthy, but I still feel extremely emotionally attached and it's very hard for me to let go. This was my first serious relationship and the first person I was ever intimate with, which I think makes the emotional attachment even stronger.

Over the years there have been multiple betrayals. I've discovered that he sent explicit sexual videos of himself to other people. The only "corn" I've ever seen on his phone has involved men. Whenever I confronted him about it, he usually minimized it, promised it wouldn't happen again, or said I was overreacting.

Another complicated layer is that when we first met he was struggling with addiction and instability. During the years we were together I supported him a lot while he worked toward recovery. I helped him get stable housing, helped him get a job, and supported him through treatment, detox, and doctor's appointments. I invested a lot of time and energy into helping him rebuild his life and become more stable. I also took care of his ill grandfather until he passed.

A few years ago I started having medical issues and had to take medications that caused significant weight gain and depression. That period was very difficult for me emotionally. Around that same time I began noticing more behaviors that made me feel like he was looking outside the relationship.

What hurts the most is that when he was struggling, I felt like I gave everything to support him and help him get his life together. Now that I'm the one going through difficult medical issues, I don't feel the same support from him. There have also been serious issues during arguments. There has been verbal abuse, and one situation became physical after I confronted him about cheating. Because of that incident, there is currently a limited order of protection in place.

Another thing that has weighed on me over the years is that I never felt comfortable having children in this relationship. Part of that was because of the verbal abuse and instability. I didn't trust that the environment would be healthy for a child, and I didn't want a child growing up thinking that kind of behavior is normal. Even though all of these things have happened, I still feel extremely emotionally attached to him after 10 years together. We built a life together and that history makes it very difficult for me to detach. Financially and logistically leaving also feels complicated right now.

I guess my question for people who have experienced something similar is: How did you break the emotional attachment and leave a long-term relationship when you knew it wasn't healthy anymore but part of you still cared about the person?