Diagnosis process?

Just some context: I am dead certain I have vaginismus. It took me 8 years and many, many, many attempts to be able to insert a tampon, and I'm sure the only reason I have had any success with penetration sexually has come from dilating. I started "dilating" 2 years ago sporadically to be able to use a tampon (it is still painful fwiw but hey it goes in) and I bought a set of dilators 5 months ago. I have been able to fit my 3.5" dilator with varying degrees of pain and discomfort for about 3 months with basically no progress. I also cannot dilate as regularly as I would like thanks to my roommate who has no concept of privacy or boundaries, so I was thinking of other ways to make progress. I'm also wondering if my hymen may be an issue or something with my anatomy closer to my opening? because beyond maybe 1" deep, the dilators go in with ease as long as they're at the right angle - but movement in and out (anything touching the entrance to 1" deep) is excruciatingly painful.

I want a proper diagnosis and more options for treatment, but naturally the idea is terrifying. I'm less afraid now than I was years ago because I can actually fit something up there, but what is the diagnosis process like? am i going to have a speculum in me 🥲 do they judge whether or not i'm in pain / if there's resistance based on just brute force and seeing what happens?? 🥲🥲

I'm also slightly afraid that, because I can fit roughly a finger in me, I might be dismissed as not having a problem. Obviously I plan on asking the offices directly what the process looks like and judging where to go based on what feels safest, but could someone share what their experience was like?