Porn has rotted my brain. Please help me.

I need someone to talk to for like hours. I know this very personal but i desperately need someone to talk too about sex. As someone who lost their virginity very very late in life I know nothing about sex as it seems. I keep thinking that there is only one right answer in having sex. Alpha males never used to be on my mind until now. I haven’t had sex in a year. I’m never this personal about my sexual history. I’ve only kissed a handful of people. Had sex three times. The longer I go without it just feel left out. My mum and dad gave me sheltered life until me my mum and my sister all moved together. I had more freedom around then. I grew up very late in life because I had sex very late. Once I had sex then everything changed. I was much more happier before I had sex. I’ve been taken advantage in so many ways and no matter how hard I try boys always mess me about. I fell in love once and it crushed me for life. It was the biggest scar of my life. I cried and wept for days.my dad always told me I’m a happy accident and i grew up believing that. And now I’ve fully cut my dad out my life due to personal reasons and clearly it’s affecting how men treat me or how i perceive them. But i definitely think im depressed and my self pleasure is becoming an issue for me. Im autistic and black and a female and overweight. Getting this far in life is genuinely very surprising to me. I’ve done everything for myself by myself because not not a single person wants to make my life easier. So sex and relationships are the hardest thing for me to navigate as it leaves me feeling lonely. Plus I’ve lost so many friendships because they all lie to me and don’t want to bother talking to me. For years people have used me as the butt of their jokes and just treating me like shit. And boys are the same. They use me for whatever they feel like. I push through life doing what’s best for me. I can’t be soft with people or they just walk all over me. I’m not allowed to be like that because what’s the point. But with sex it’s the same thing. I had someone take a huge chunk of money from me and sexually humiliated me. That’s something I’ll never forget. All I want is to be happy and be in love and to feel normal like everyone else. In life and sex I want to feel normal. I just need someone to talk too. Please help.