I hope this reached you via spiritual internet, its been awhile

Since we talked.. i sent you a hug, while i was looking up at the sky earlier. you know i have to drop acid just so i could reach you, at least spiritually. i can never adequately label this feeling. You just have to feel it. I'm glad i have felt it today. That I'm still feeling it. I am still alive. I can feel pain. I am so so much capable of love, i can love, so deeply and real. In my own ways. I have loved someone. Im glad i was able to share how it feels. I CAN STILL FEEL. I felt it. I JUST FEEL. Im learning to feel no i just let it happen. Stop learning it. You just feel it. Receive. Allow yourself. Thats the most loving thing we could ever do. As simple as that. To just feel. Everything. And to be able to feel it. It's cruel. It's soul crushingly painful, i was able to acknowledge this feeling today. I was able to feel it. It felt pure, rare, special, REAL. IT FELT REAL. That time, i wanna feel it again, i will keep going, to feel it again. Again. Loving without the fear, without running away. I'm glad, I'm learning to stay. I can sit with the pain. Im allowing myself to hurt, to feel it without numbing myself. I love you, i know it has reached you. You felt it too, right? Do i have to say more? Thank you for making me FEEL it. Thank you for loving me. I just love you so so much, I'm sorry. We will be ok. I love you.