if he has ring, why not on finger? (24F, 23M)

We’ll start with some background: My bf Nick (23M) and I (24F) started dating December ‘22. We both have interesting/ chaotic family dynamics. Namely, my dad and I are trying (and failing) to rebuild a relationship, but that’s a story for another time. Nick has been aware from the beginning that I feel very deeply, I am sensitive in that regard, I communicate my emotions, and need my partner to reciprocate communication. 2 months in, I told him “You need to be able to communicate your emotions or this is going to last very long.” Well, just over 3 years later, we’re still in it so obviously he’s done the work. We’ve put the time and effort into learning each other- communication, triggers, the little signs that only someone who really knows you and cares can see. I’m so proud of how much we’ve grown together and individually. We both take dating very seriously, neither of us are casual/ serial daters. We knew exactly where we wanted this to go pretty early on, and have treated it as such. We’ve talked about OUR future for more of our relationship than not. But more than anything- we are best friends. Yes, we love each other in all the ways a person can at this point in life. But we are so each other’s favorite person. Now for a brief timeline: April ‘24- he decides he wants to go into the military (even though we were both in college and he was excelling in something he is passionate about). He gives the info I need to support him, and so I roll with it. I’m all good with changes and adapting as long as there’s follow through and at least a half baked plan. July ‘24- he’s gone for 3 months with no contact except letters bc of boot camp. Oct ‘24 & Dec ‘24- get to see each other for 10 days each time, many “jokes” being made about just going to the courthouse and doing the darn thing. April ‘25- he comes home. Note: between Oct ‘24 and April ’25, we are both wearing silicone rings and referring to each other as fiancé to our coworkers (I had just started a new job) but we stopped when he came home (another job change for me as well). Here’s the bulk of it: June ‘25- he bought the ring. I know because we shopped twice the month before and I was pretty specific in my preferences. I said to wait until after my bday in August. Well, a visit to meet my dad over Thanksgiving (bc I’d been telling dad how important it was for them to meet and how serious the relationship is), our anniversary in December, his birthday in January, and all of Feb has now passed. Granted, I said I didn’t want a proposal on a holiday bc it feels like a cop out (personal opinion). But aside from that, he’s had it for 9 months- 7 of which have been fair game. He’s in EMT school, will complete Fire Academy this year as well- opting not to go back to his original degree. I’m not going to be completely finished with school until Dec ‘27. However, we both don’t care whether I am still in school, as I’m going to be obtaining another degree not long after as it’s needed for my career. We have fought about the “hold-up” on the engagement a few times since Nov. He feels like he can’t give me everything I want- DUDE I just want you and an apartment. Eventually a house and kids but I’m not expecting anything crazy off the bat. He also wants my dad involved, and given my recent convo with dad, that seems doubtful but Nick doesn’t really want to accept that I think. “Why now? What’s the rush?” you may ask. Well, the wedding industry is a nightmare and it takes time to plan stuff. So 18 month engagement would be great. “But what about the cost?” Well honestly I’m perfectly content with a courthouse and an awesome party for our favorite people sometime after, that night or the next month. Nick just doesn’t want me to feel slighted or like I settled and I appreciate how considerate that is. But I’m more invested in our relationship/ future marriage than I am a full blown wedding. Truthfully, I just want to take the next step and at least be engaged. And since Nick told EVERYONE about the ring and has shown it to half of them, there’s always questions. He feels pressure- that is self inflicted. I’m always trying not ask about it. But all the questions could have been avoided if he didn’t tell everyone, including me. Let’s be clear, he’s not dangling it over my head. In fact, he never brings it up. I know he has it because I happened upon the box when I was helping him clean his room- didn’t open it though. I do like surprises, although it is hard to pull one over on me. We’re emotionally disconnected right now, from my pov. I just feel like there’s always some new heavy, emotional chat. Mind you, we’re in a medium distance relationship: we only see each other Fri night- Sun night. It just sucks that the thing that’s causing the most tension between us (engagement) is something that’s supposed to be exciting. I’m emotionally exhausted and I’m unsure of how to proceed. I don’t want to issue an ultimatum of any kind, I don’t want to ruin any plans/ surprises, but I feel like I need some reassurance and maybe a general timeline. And yes, I’ve communicated all this to him before. But at some point, I think he and I need to have it out- truly. Thoughts/ advice on what could be going on in his head, and/or for me and/or for the relationship are appreciated. So sorry that this is essentially an emotional word vomit.