My dad

so I know this is supposed to be something else, but this is about my dad.

he never hurt me, he never hurt anyone. he was left for someone else to have a perfect life ( worked out brilliant btw 😂)

he is massively depressed. I mean he sits alone, in the quiet. just staring. I went to his flat today and he was in but didn’t answer. I rang his phone and he answered, he let me in. I’ve wanted to be in his arms for a week! he held me so tight.

but something is wrong with him. his eyes are empty. I went to the bathroom and I saw it next to the sink tower thing. he is hurting himself but I can’t see it. I think of the “depressed men” emo goth people I hang around with. they give a view of the world that they have nothing to live for aren’t I sexy. this isn’t sexy. this is my man I didn’t think I could lose. at one point I didn’t care, now I want him!

we went through therapy because I am one idiot. but he says he is fine. he won’t answer anything. he just looks at me. I want to give him everything but he is gone. I don’t know what to do. he isn’t a small man, you wouldnt see him and think he is broken. I think I damaged him.

calling me. write later x