Moral OCD & Queer Identity

Background: I (26F) was not raised religious. In fact, my dad is an atheist, and I'm more agnostic. I was diagnosed with clinical OCD (pure O) nine years ago.

I've been drawn to the queer community since I was young, when I became a fan of Glee, around 12. I love the arts. I love gay bars. I love being around people who are authentically themselves.

Fast forward to now: I'm one year post-breakup with a man I had been with for 6 years. In my desire to meet new people, I was asked out on a date by a woman whom I connected with at a party. I later realized that it was going to be a date date, and I was like, sure! I've never explored this side of myself before. I went on the date and had a nice time.

We've been talking for a couple of weeks, and we're going out again. She has been out for quite a while–not me. Then this... feeling creeps up. Is this okay? Is this wrong? We have only recently established that queer identity is tolerable in the United States, and yet many people think it's immoral. Am I immoral? Am I doing a bad thing?

This has been tearing me up inside. What if same-sex relationships are immoral? Now I'm scouring the internet for answers (compulsions). Rationally, I know that all of us contain "immorality" in some way. What pushed me over the edge was when a statistic popped up on my Instagram (that I did not compulsively seek out, actually lmaooo) saying "39% of Americans believe homosexuality is immoral." Amazing! I'll be ruminating about that for the next week, at least.

Thanks for reading. I liked this person, and I am looking forward to our second date. But this is not easy. Rumination is hell. I guess it's easier to accept others than it is yourself.