Last swim

Hello,

I hope this somewhat finds you. Just writing this to let you know that I am so grateful to have you in my life.

I am sorry for pushing and forcing you to love me. I know you say otherwise but let’s be honest, no one ever wanted to marry me. No one never wants to hear about my feelings or problems. I am so tired of owing everyone something.

I’m tired of feeling like a parasite. I hate this meat suit. It’s always sick and exhausted. Always ungrateful and lazy. Maybe, if I was just like everyone else, maybe then, could people see me as one of them.

I have thought it through, a way that doesn’t scare a driver to never drive again. A way that no one has to clean up the mess I could leave behind. It is a shame that I want to before I could even repay the debt I owe to those around me.

There is a way. I am sorry for possibly leaving things behind under your care but I think it’s for the best. They don’t need a person like me in their life who is so ungrateful, lazy and selfish. Despite the fact I never really thought that about myself but I do agree now. I hope this last selfish act will make it easier for everyone else.

Everything will finally stop being my fault.