My spouse and I are trying to decide what type of home to buy and I’d appreciate perspectives from others on a similar path.
Note: I used AI to format and tighten my thoughts & I am using an alt-account as my family follows my usual account.

Our situation

• Late 30s
• MCOL Midwest city
• Net worth: ~$2.5M invested (mostly equities)
• Household income currently ~$500–700k

Income stability is mixed:

• one of us works in a somewhat unstable industry
• the other runs a solo LLC

Spending:

• Current annual spending: ~$100–120k
• Expected spending during kid years: ~$150–170k

Family:

• 1 child under 1 (daycare just started)
• Planning a second child within ~18 months
• Education is important to us, so we are planning for private school expenses and possibly some worldschooling / extended travel at some point

Our goal is to reach Coast FI in ~3 years. At that point we’d ideally shift toward more flexible work, with one of us continuing the solo LLC and the other potentially doing consulting or something more flexible. We are planning for a conservative HHI of $100k.

Housing

We’re first-time homebuyers and noticing we get excited about two very different price ranges.

Option A: ~$450–600k home

Pros

• Could potentially pay this off relatively quickly
• Lower fixed costs and maximum flexibility if income drops [aligns well with our Coast FI goal]

Cons

• Compromises on layout/location
• Could see wanting to move again in ~5–7 years as kids grow

Option B: ~$1.0–1.2M home

Pros

• Typically checks most of our boxes
• More likely to work as a long-term home

Cons

• Much larger monthly commitment & feels like it may require maintaining higher income longer
• we have never owned before, so nervous about bigger home vs. learning with something smaller?

The “middle” range

Homes around ~$700–950k oddly feel the hardest psychologically. It feels like making a meaningful financial commitment while still compromising on several things, and many houses in that range would require updates that push the effective cost higher anyway.

Mortgage approach

We would likely use a 15-year mortgage, which aligns with our financial values around reducing long-term obligations and maintaining flexibility. We have $275k in money markets, outside of emergency funds ready for downpayment and expenses, renovations.

What we’re trying to balance

The cheaper house feels aligned with flexibility and Coast FI, but the more expensive house likely improves day-to-day life and could avoid needing to move again.

I realize we’re fortunate to be deciding between good options, but we’re trying to make a decision that supports flexibility rather than simply maximizing house.

Questions

For those on a ChubbyFIRE or CoastFIRE path with kids:

1. Did you buy your long-term house early, or start smaller and upgrade later? In hindsight, would you make the same decision?
2. Did your housing cost meaningfully affect your ability to downshift income or pursue Coast FIRE?
3. If you started with a smaller home planning to upgrade later, how long did you actually stay before moving?
4. Has anyone intentionally bought a cheaper home to accelerate FIRE/Coast FIRE and then upgraded later? Did it work out as expected?
5. Any regrets going too big or too small on your first home?

Appreciate your experience and insights!