Social filters in arranged marriage matrimony processes 🫠🤧

27M here. Tamil. A Doctor. At this point I’m genuinely curious how people in arranged marriage setups are not exhausted by the number of filters involved.In the last couple of years, I basically rebuilt my life from scratch. Fixed my routine, quit alcohol, got into fitness, started taking care of my health, built a decent physique, and even started renovating parts of my home. My work-life is pretty sorted too — being a doctor sounds chaotic but my schedule is mostly 9–5-ish. Overall life is stable, peaceful, and honestly pretty good.

Yet somehow the arranged marriage ecosystem makes it feel like I’m applying for a government job with 200 eligibility criteria.Examples from recent experiences: • Astrology mismatch • Height mismatch (I’m 6'2, apparently that's a problem too now) • Some specifically don’t want doctors • Religion filter • Caste filter • Subcaste filter

And the funniest one recently.I actually liked someone from a matrimony group. We had good conversations, things seemed promising… and then someone from the family tree department announced: "Oh wait, she’s akka morai." which basically means she’s technically cousin-sister according to family lineage.

Application rejected by the Ancient Tamil Kinship Algorithm™.

Meanwhile my family — who confidently told me “Don’t worry, we’ll find you a good girl, just wait” — have now slowly transitioned into asking: "Are you sure you’re not in love with someone already?"

No uncle, no secret love story.

Just a guy trying to pass the 47 layers of matrimonial eligibility criteria. At this point I’m wondering whether arranged marriage is less about finding compatibility and more about surviving a multi-stage screening process designed in 1200 AD. Anyone else feeling this level of filter fatigue? 😅