New here/ vent

Hi guys! I got the diagnosis 4 days ago and am feeling very overwhelmed. I’m 21. I feel like I got a death sentence. I’ve been a volleyball player since I was 8 and suddenly I can’t play anymore. I’m a 3rd year dental student and am terrified I won’t be able to even do the job once I graduate. It’s like everything has been taken from me and i’m just so scared and devastated. I cry everyday taking my medication. How did I go from being a young healthy woman to someone that takes 6 different drugs daily? I mourn my health. I’m so scared. I wish I never got the diagnosis. I wish I didn’t know i have it. I wish i could go back in time and do whatever I could so that i don’t get sick. I even feel embarrassed telling people about it because what do you mean a 21yo has arthritis? Everyone around me thinks it’s an old people disease. My fiancée can’t even comprehend that this is my life forever- doctors, drugs, pain. He refuses to believe that I will be on medication for the rest of my life. I’m so angry. Please give me any advice. I just need someone to understand my pain.