Social media “friends”

I’m just curious how other people have kept their social media following after deconstruction. (Or heck, in the middle of deconstruction too).

I’ve been in a slow deconstruction phase for the last 9

years, and haven’t been to church in alittle over 4 years. Now, I don’t really claim to believe anything — or at least I’m still trying to figure it out. (I was raised independent, fundamental Baptist).

I’m 37 now, and I live alone. About 3 years ago, I went through my social media feeds, and deleted every single person that I didn’t want having “an upfront seat” in my life anymore, or who I knew would judge me for my new life choices. (This included all of my immediate family, who are still very fundy.) It was freeing for me, because I could post whatever the hell I wanted without fear of judgment.

The last couple of years, my social media use has dramatically decreased, and I just don’t post alot. Maybe some of that is maturity with age too.

Last year, I realized maybe it wasn’t so healthy to just cut everybody out of my life who doesn’t believe like me (or I don’t believe like them). I unblocked my whole list, and slowly but surely since, people have been “re-adding” me as their friend on social media. (I haven’t done any of it—I let them add me if they so wish, lol.)

The thing is, I’m increasingly getting more anxious the more fundy people keep “friending” me again. I haven’t talked to them in years, some of them are only acquaintances of my mother—why the hell do you want to watch my page? I just get this feeling I’m being spied on, and I HATE IT. And even if they don’t make comments on my posts or pictures, I can FEEL their judgment of my new life.

Last year, I had an old high school friend (who’s a wife and a mom with 3 boys and a missionary in South America) add me on facebook. I accepted it, but 24 hours later, she deleted me! (Probably saw I’m a single, independent woman with a “worldly” career, and decided she didn’t want to be my friend.)

The other day, a former friend of mine from high school (seventh day adventist) created a “burner” account and found me on social media (even though I blocked her other accounts), and she sent me a friend request. I haven’t responded to it at all, because I don’t like how she had to stalk me with a new account.

Sigh. Sometimes I think I want to scrap social media completely.