i don’t know if my boyfriend assaulted me or if it was just a slip up

so we were in the middle of getting freaky and he started asking me if he could rub himself on me i said no but he could do it on my leg so he did then he tried again and asked again then i started saying no then he was like “i know you want it” and to give some context there is times where i act clueless or like im not interested to excite him but this time i meant it that i didn’t want it and it lead me to shove him off

and then later i changed my mind and i actually wanted to do it and it lead to me losing my virginity, i’m so confused and i felt like i was hurt by that situation i had already told him afterwards and we came up with a safe word that actually means no full stop