My 26F relationship my boss 42M is running and ruining my life and I cannot tell anyone

I am 26 and found a job as a personal assistant. and not to anyone, he (42) is the highest executive of a company with hundreds employees. He is a tough boss and can be kind of mean, aggressive, speaks over people, needs to control everything. But he brings more profit than any other exec this company has ever had (this is an official information). No nonsense, strict and very demanding. When someone is trying to tell him something he cuts them off to get to the point faster.

I was scared of him in the beginning, but it turned into a very intense attraction. I broke up with my boyfriend due to it. Not because I wanted to try with this boss something but I thought about him all the time, especially during intimate moments with my partner and it was so unfair as he is an amazing man and deserves someone better

The guy is not nice - nice to me but he is better than with other subordinates. We spend most of our time together, which is normal and I do everything for him. He is a single dad btw and I even babysat his 3 years old daughter a few times at the office. One day he said he would like to eat a special kind of steak and I said I can cook it. he was surprised but didn't ask me to do it. I did anyway although I had no idea how to do it and spent 7 hours to prepare it all for him. When I brought it to the office he said it's great and invited a few people to taste it. One woman gave me a strange look and I felt ashamed.

I organise everything, I overwork myself, clean his desk myself even though it's not my responsibility. I keep track of everything. He told me he is really annoyed that so many people need him for small things and he has important things to do. I agreed and now they all come to me and I need to write down everything and then go to him. I make his life super easy and I am exhausted. Maybe he is very busy, as he says he is, I mean he must be when in such a high position but I take care of everything. His swimming pool subscription, calls, meetings, he even allows me to represent him in minor things and he is very controlling usually so he must trust me. But I caught him a few times simply playing games on his phone so I feel he is maybe taking advantage of me? He shouts at others but never ever at me.

I tried tinder to forget about him but I ignore all the likes I receive because I compare all the guys to him. He has blue eyes and light brown short hair and I filter out all guys who do not have these traits. I feel I am cooked.