You terrify me

Hello,
You terrify me.
I'm very afraid of seeing you again, for various reasons.
I fear that when we talk, I don't feel seen, not even as a person.
I fear being treated so horribly again.
I fear that you'll forget everything that we went through.
I'm afraid to remember everything we went through.
I'm afraid that our connection is even more tainted with pain and resentment than before.
I'm afraid that, taking the above into account, you'll decide simply abandoning it all.
I'm afraid of suffering from your decisions again.
I'm afraid of my feelings being determined by the actions you take, irresponsibly.
A ''last farewell'' with so much prelude is distressing.
At least I reached my limit, and I won't endure what I shouldn't anymore.
It's not myjob to repair this, nor bear with the consequences of your actions.
I abandon that task.
(Had to get this out of my chest, better here than on their dm's. Thank you for reading)