Healing from Purity culture

Struggling with pan and regret from Purity culture, I believe I idealized it in the wrong way and it led to me getting hurt because I had expectations that weren’t met. It’s haunted me for a while and I’ve been on porn since I was about 16-17 years old. I’ve used it to cope and make up for what experience I felt I lacked and didn’t have.

In College I met my Wife and as we got to know each other she shared her past relationships and how she was abused and sexually assaulted in High School. I immediately broke down crying because I was overcome with sympathy and compassion for someone who was hurt like that. However, my own pain from continuous porn use was destroying me

from the inside out.

Been married six years now and I’ve shared all of my struggles with her and told her about how I’m feeling. She’s been helpful and receptive and encouraged me to go to therapy at my worst moment.

I’m doing better now but I’m still struggling everyday with the hurt,pain and sometimes resentment I have over not having sex earlier or not having positive sexual experiences before I met my wife. I wasn’t raised or taught any different than what I knew.

I know Paul says because of Sexual Immorality it’s best to get married. I know Sex is God’s design, but there’s so much damage around the concept of being a virgin and purity that has just not been addressed in the church and there’s a lot of people I myself that feel hurt and scarred by it.