No one will even remember me if i die

I think I am pretty much wasting my life, I will turn 20 in a few months i always think I have to do this and that but I never do it.

From the past 3-4 years my life is going in like automation. I am doing same thing everyday nothing productive just time pass. I have interest in so many things but I haven't even started anything

I don't have any friends like literally 0 I have people in my college and some in my neighborhood whom I know but I don't think I can call them my friends. And I think that it's good that I have no one(idk why)I like being alone that i have no one to talk to i don't have to answer anyone but sometimes there is a need of someone to talk to, to share things

Whoever I meet repulses me. I don't know why. Maybe I am not a good person, but this is who I am.

People don't even care if I am there or not, I am always a secondary person in everyone's life. If i was in a room with all the people I know, then ik that no one will ever choose me

Everything just goes against me and I don't know what to do.

I want my life to be something that I can remember.