Apparently, "incel" is a word that's been used in the first American Pie movie. Oh, and a bit about myself.

I was watching a reaction to the movie on YouTube called "Gen Z Watches American Pie" by Bringing Comedy Movies Back. Of course some say the movie is problematic, but only if they don't pay attention to the fact it's not condoning the issues, but mocking the boys instead. None of the women were victims without some kind of retribution taking place.

That said, at 7:52, the character Kevin Myers (played by Thomas Ian Nicholas) yells the following line:

• "Incels, UNITE!"

The movie is already popular for the term "milf," or "Mother I'd Love [to] Fuck."

However, if you go to Wikipedia.org, neither the pages for "incel" or "American Pie" mention each other at all. This tells me more about the ignorance around the discourse of the topic of what "incel" really means. None of the characters in American Pie intend to be "bad towards women" because "they hate women," but because they don't want to be virgins. Of course they cross the line in many ways, such as Jim Levenstein (played by Jason Biggs) trying to film Nadia (played by Shannon Elizabeth) on camera without her consent, but it also shows him in more of a bad light due to ejaculating simply by touch... TWICE! He ended up embarrassing himself in the process.

Others, who tried to score with other classmates (and a mom, Stifler's mom, played by Jennifer Coolidge), ended up either losing because they deserved it, or winning the girl through good intentions. Each character resulted in different ways men are stereotyped to get with women: Lucky to be used; trying to fit in and cave to romance; waiting for the right moment to say I love you; getting revenge on a bully by smashing Stifler's mom, etc. Nobod got away with assaulting a woman, and even one was embarrassed at the dance due to lying about what happened with a girl, urinating on himself.

Anyway, part of why I have an issue with how "incel" is used today is because people simply don't use it right.

• Incel: Portmanteau of "involuntarily celibate"

The term itself has nothing to do with being misogynist or hateful of women, only the frustration of failing to gain sexual or romantic success with a woman.

A friend of mine, by definition, was an incel. He had a girlfriend, but never had sex. After she came back from Job Corps, she came out as lesbian. After about 10+ years of unsuccessful dates, he finally has sex at around 35 years old. The catch: It was a woman he wasn't attracted to at all who tried to assault him in high school decades ago. He only accepts it because nobody else would. For years, I made sure he never was exposed to the toxicity of the internet, not even knowing what the word is. And not once has he ever expressed hatred or bigotry towards women.

I, myself, may count as something called a "volcel," or "voluntarily celibate." I may have been exposed to the redpill and manosphere, but even I knew what made sense and what was bullshit. A lot of it isn't hate, but frustration and retaliation for misandry, a word women still say doesn't exist, despite literally acting it out. Hashtags such as #MenAreTrash or #KillAllMen, businesses charging men more, even advocating for disadvantages for men simply for being men in spaces women originally didn't accept (gaming, for example). In all this time, I have never heard men say hey hate women, only things about women. Women, however, would actually say "I hate [all] men," with "all" being optional. With me, only recently turned 39, it's always been fear of consequences regardless of having good intentions with women. I hate misandry, which I believe means having to also hate misogyny, as retaliation justifies the opposite side.

That said, I've never made the first move with women I have desired, but because it was from my lack of pursuit, it's technically "voluntary" as I never attempted to succeed with women. Growing up with lines like "Girls Rule, Boys Drool" thinking "drool" meant stupidity, girls doing "sike/psyche" with me after "confessing," staring daggers into my crush in 2nd grade leading to her yelling out loud "what are you looking at" making eye contact near impossible for me now as it seems wrong, and other personal issues for me to conquer. The luckiest day for me before going to strip clubs was being assaulted by a prostitute when I was 16, trying to give me a "sample" for $5 by fondling my testicles. Nobody knows, and I still see it that way, knowing it is rightfully considered sexual assault. Kinda like Jim "being used" as a sign that something is there worth appealing to.

I don't know my brother's situation, but he says he just considers himself MGTOW, or "Men Going Their Own Way." I haven't seen him in almost a decade, so I don't know his real frustrations in romance or sex.