Gondolas are just mobile hotboxes of everyone's worst smells

You step into the gondola, doors close, and suddenly it's a group experiment in human scent.

Every ride is a gamble.

Will it be

• The guy who washed his entire kit in a gallon of nuclear strength fabric softener
• Someone wearing cologne strong enough to tranquilize a moose
• Damp gear that smells like it’s been fermenting in a locker
• A base layer that clearly hasn't met a washing machine... ever
• The lingering ghost of that cheap swill you drink
• Lodge food fumes mixed with farts
• Or the guy whose breath smells like he ate dog shit for breakfast

I know some of you have cursed noses too so tell me

am I the only one riding the gondola like it's a biological hazard chamber?

Because judging by half the cabins I've been in this season, some of you smell like a bag of farts and nobody has the heart to tell you.

Look, I don't care if you can throw triples or you're still leaf sliding greens.

If you stink

you're a grubby Jerry.

This rant prompted by the chatterbox across from me today whose breath smells like he brushed his teeth with one of my dog's turds.