Update to my decision as a gay Catholic

A quick update to my decision as a Gay catholic

( I highly recommend you go through my earlier posts to understand the full context of my situation )

Well my friend who I thought was Gay actually turned out to be bisexual and now he has a girlfriend

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now

1. I’m happy for him that he has found love

2. I’m still a bit sad it wasn’t me he chose as his partner

3. I’m internally jealous of both of them

Now why am I jealous of them

I think it’s just cause they are in a relationship and I’m not it’s cause throughout my life I’ve always been single and I’m jealous of the fact that they are in a relationship before me but I’m also jealous of his new girlfriend because I still love him deeply in my heart

And it now looks like all that playful flirting was just a joke that I took to serious and now I feel like I’ve played myself and I know it’s my fault because I let myself believe I was in a mystical fairytale world where we could be together and now I feel like a fool

So now I’m left with 2 options

1. I force myself to marry a woman even though I don’t really want to but now I will fix my mistake I made in a earlier post and inform her about my situation and true intentions

2. I live a life of celibacy which in my opinion would be completely boring

I only really see life of chastity boring for the simple fact that it would be highly likely that I miss out on that romantic love that everyone around appears to some how have

Thanks for listening to my yap session

God bless.