am i in the wrong for blocking my Ex girlfriend after she said she "needed me the most" me M21 her F22

So I really just need advice on what to do here. I’ll start the story from the beginning. I’ll call myself J (21) and my ex T (22).

Me and T met through a friend of mine when I was out at a party a couple of years ago. After that moment, we started dating very quickly. Our personalities were almost exactly the same. We liked the same music, had the same sense of humor, and just clicked really well. We ended up dating for about seven months. During that time the relationship was kind of a mix of love-bombing and then being distant from each other.

At one point I found out that she went out with a “friend” of hers, a guy. He then added me on Snapchat and told me that they made out in the back of his car. Later I found out that this was actually a lie because he was really interested in her and wanted us to break up. Even though it turned out to be a lie, I still ended up ending things because I didn’t know what to believe. I was hearing three different stories from the people involved and it just became too confusing.

A couple of months later, I ended up seeing her again at a rest stop while I was with a new girl I had been talking to. I tried to go up and talk to T, but the girl I was with got really mad about that and left me there alone. After that, me and T never really found a way to completely stop talking to each other. There was always this small amount of love between us that kept us connected, and it felt special in a way. Eventually we went about nine months without really talking.

Later I found out that she was still kind of obsessed with me after all that time. She told me she never really tried to be with anyone else because she never stopped wanting me. Her exact words were that “it felt guilty to go for someone else.” Around November 2024, we started talking more and more again, and at that point it felt more like she was my best friend. Eventually she asked me out, but I had to push her away and friend-zone her because I was interested in another girl at the time.

That same month, me and that other girl started dating, but things ended pretty quickly because I ended up ghosting her. The truth was that I couldn’t bring myself to say that I still had feelings for T. I pushed those feelings away until February 2025, when I finally texted T and told her that I missed what we had and asked if we could try again. Honestly, I’ve never seen her so happy in my life. She’s this little blonde burst of energy, and seeing how excited she was made everything feel really real again.

We started dating again in March, and things picked up very quickly. But eventually I started hating myself, and it got to a really bad point mentally. I realized I needed time for myself. Instead of explaining that to her properly, I told her that I had lost feelings for her, which completely shattered her. She begged me not to end things, but I felt like I couldn’t stay in a relationship where I couldn’t give back the same love I was receiving. Later that same month, I texted her again and explained how I was actually feeling, and we started seeing each other again.

I’ll admit this was a really bad move on my part. I was still really in love with T, but at the time she was dating somebody else, and she ended up cheating on him with me for months before he found out. I won’t go into too much detail, but he screamed at her, kicked her out of his house, and took videos of her phone and the conversations between me and her.

After that, we have been really close but also very distant at the same time, going on and off every couple of weeks. She says things like how she can’t lose me and how much she loves me, but I just couldn’t keep putting up with it. She also has a lot going on in her life right now, with her mother and grandfather being in the hospital, and she has been drowning herself in work and having a really hard time overall.

During one of our no-contact weeks, I ended up having a one-night stand with one of my close girl friends. When T found out, she went off on me saying how I’m hers and that I cheated on her, even though we weren’t even dating. I then told her that I wanted her to hate me and to leave me alone, and I started saying some very mean things just to try to get her to leave me alone, which I regret. She called me crying and I hung up on her.

She begged me to stay with her, saying how she’s nothing without me and how she needs me right now and doesn’t want me to go, but I made the decision to block her on every platform. The last thing I’ve heard is that the guy she was dating left her, and so did I. I’ve been in contact with her best friend, who says that T has been pulling away from everyone and even pushing away her best friend of over 10 years.

I just need advice on whether this was a smart decision or if I should contact her and try to fix things. I can also go into more detail if needed. I wrote this all in one sitting just trying to get it off my chest.

TL;DR, i was in a on and off relationship for a good chunk of my life, it was good but ended because of me, she got with another guy and was cheating on him with me, and during one of her hardest points, i blocked her on everything.