Should I get back in contact with my mom?

Hi,

For context, my mom(60f) offered me(34m) my late grandfather's home to live in, own, and maintain for the foreseeable future. Her, my grandma, and my autistic brother were all going to move out. I agreed. I moved, and a year later she told me I had to leave. During that year, we lived together for 6months and it was damn near hell.

Arguments are least 3x a month. I offered to pay rent/bills, but she didn't want me to, just to throw it in my face later. Got into a accident in her car(not at fault), filed the claim, blaimed me for not following up with the insurance(didn't know I had to) and for not prosecuting the man(asked her if I should and she said no). She bought me a car, spent 5k. When the insurance company canceled the claim, I said I would pay her back for that. She then said she's going to prosecute the man herself, so Informed her I would just pay her back for the car instead(never was a requirement).

After she moved out of the house I went low contact. After all the arguments and little bs, on top of that, after she moved she just kept asking questions I either couldn't answer or didn't want to. So I avoided that. I was struggling. Hard to find a job, and when I did it was hard to keep it.

So I started doing instacart and originally I was given her 500/month for the car, but switched to 250/month due to not being paid much. And I was adjusting, starting to figure it out, about to slow down smoking weed, she informs me that all three of them are moving back into this 3bedroom house and I need to find somewhere else to go. I asked her what am I supposed to do? "I can give you several options, but in the end you're just going to do you" So I went back to my original state and went very low contact. Haven't spoken to her in over a year.

So my grandma passed away in July. And then they boarded up the house(the thing she was trying to avoid in the 1st place). My safe assumption is grandma didn't want to live in the nursing home anymore. Or she completely lied and never moved back in.

Ever since I've realized alot about myself. I've been playing back my life alot since. Making me come to terms with my naiveness about who I am And the bs I've cause, but also her bs.

Like something stupid like, why did she go all for my oldest brothers senior year? Boi was a fuck up! Barely graduated on time, all 3 of her kids barely graduated on time. But got to go to prom, have a senior party. She decided to leave to the state she's in now in the middle of senior year(to take care of my ailing grandfather). Never went to prom and no senior party.

But then the big thing is, when I was 9 or 10, I stole $300 to buy a camera flip phone and minutes. I didn't even have anybody to call. Lol all she did was beat my butt and grounded me. Never learned the leason. I was still stealing till I was able to buy the things I wanted(27ish)

Sure, my mother taught me how to read write cursive, do math, ride a bike, drive a car. But didn't teach the value of a dollar. Savings, insurance, debt. She was able to teach her fucking eldest how to survive/live as an adult. But just left. Left me to figure it out. Left me with a bunch of people who didn't teach me shit.

So I'm conflicted. I sent my mother a text message a week ago. Asking her to admit what she did with no blaming or projection of guilt. And she did. I wasn't expecting her to. Now I don't know what to do. Cause I don't even know if I want my mother in my life anymore.. and if I did. With the shit that happened and me realizing the past bs.. I can't even see her as my mother anymore. I've lost respect for her. Can she get it back? Do I even want her to?