Navigating love vs. career

Context: Last year, I finished my masters degree in a foreign country where I met my boyfriend of 3 years. Since then, I’ve been looking for a professional job here to start my career but had no such luck. I love the country in which I live and can speak the language to a good level, although not fluently or professionally. I have a great network of friends and genuinely feel settled here. My boyfriend and I finally also found suitable housing in his city, where I do not currently live, but commute to 2x a week to see him. We are due to move in next month.

Problem: The dilemma I’m facing is that, although I want to stay here, I can’t help but feel my career progression is stagnating. I worked hard in quite a difficult degree and I don’t want that work (or my potential) to go to waste. I told my boyfriend that I may look at opportunities abroad, but he is native to the country we currently live, and strongly prefers not to leave. However, he did not tell me not to and is quite supportive of me in general.

My degree is likely to open more doors for me than his current work will him, and I want to explain to him gently that I will most likely become the bread winner (if things continue the way they are in his current job).

Question for advice: How can I break it to him that I will be looking for opportunities abroad, even though I’m moving in with him? Is it a good idea to even move in together at this point?

Thanks!

Posted Mar 6, 2026, 8:42 PM UTC

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