Genuinely all I want is be 24/7 / Fantasy

I wish I could be someone's live in sub and be taken care of

It takes a lot for me to admit this to myself, life has been genuinely hard for me, I'm autistic and while I have attempted to keep up with my adult life, job, car, college, I'm genuinely at my limit, I'm a drained tired mess. My roommates are kind to me, and put up with a lot more than some people would, but even they feel like I don't do enough, it's just so hard. On top of all of that my childhood was a scary and neglected one,

Recently I encountered an older trans women, and since then I've kinda had this image of what a mommy would look like for me, I've thought of elaborate scenes,

I've fantasized about the day I give up on my adult life, and submit to her, after submitting she takes away a lot of my belonging including my phone, my credit cards, my car keys. I cry cause I just lost all the atonomy I had, the freedom I had at 18, that I was so happy and greatful for, she explains that I was never really a full blown adult, and it's okay that I'm upset, and my emotions are valid, and just generally gentle parenting me though this life change, (my privlages wouldn't be taken away forever, but reintroduced when I'm mentally well enough to handle them, and under her supervision.)

While I resist at first my resistance is met with a soft tone voice, I raise my voice in frustration, she then pushes me down, restrsining me, it doesn't take much, my body is weak and she is muscular. , she walks away me screaming and grabs a pink gag. She than says I'm sorry hun, but I think you need a little time out okay, I understand your frustrated. A lot of big things are happening right now and it's okay to be confused and scared right now. I want you to know mommy only wants what's best for you hun, and you being an adult wasn't that. I saw how stressed you are hun, how you don't even have energy to take care yourself, how weak your poor little body was getting. How scared you got as you got weaker and weaker, how you scrolled endlessly wanting an escpae, isn't this all true? I start to sob uncontrollablly, everything she said to me was true, she takes the gag out and says I know baby, I know. Its okay you don't have to deal with that anymore. Its okay to need someone to take care of you.

She runs me a hot bath, washes my hair and conditions it, she gives me a melatonin, she hands me a nightgown to wear to bed, and we both lay down and I feel asleep in her arm, for the first time in years I don't fall asleep expecting an alarm to wake me up, I sleep until my body is ready.

She eventually takes me clothes shopping, before we leave she sits me down at her computer, I sit on her laptop, I'm not allowed to touch, as I'm not allowed to use the internet. She shows me a pijtrest board of stuff girls my age wear and explains to me I need to get some idea of what I want to hear out, when we go places, I pick a few items and we go to store, I'm really nervous, but she read assures me no one thinks anything, and reminds me ive been on estorgen for years, and no one thinks anything, all people see is two women shopping. We eventually find some skirts and a dress, she brings me the dressing room, I become visibly nervous, I wonder what the clerk will think of me and mommy going into a dressing room together, nothing happens, we go on and I try on some of the clothes, mommy helps me fix my clothing right and for the first time I feel a little bit like myself, mommy buys the clothes, it's odd seeing her tap her card, and I owe her nothing, it's not even a discussion. I thought we were leaving the mall but she stops at Victoria secret and giggles, you need some new Underwear, I'm say but and I slip and say her name not mommy, she pulls me aside and says that I can only call her mommy, and she says its okay I'm nervous, and that mommy knows how it feels but it will be okay, we walk in and mommy takes me the section for my size, we pick out a couple of sets, and mommy sends me into dressing room, she hands me my phone, with a FaceTime call open to her, my first instrict was to disobey her and try to peek at reddit, however I noticed she locked it with assistive touch, I stand in the mirror, and she says wow that's my georgous girl huh, mommy paise feels me with warmth.

We get home, and she praises me for being such a brave girl, and she makes lunch and briefly goes on a call for work, I don't know what mommy does, but she she doesn't need to leave me for very long. I decide to take the time to masturbate, I haven't came in 4 days since mommy got me, I look to see if maybe mommy has a vibrator or something I can use, I couldn't immediately see one so I did the old fashioned way. Unfortunately I'm not the best at timing, she walks in and says oh your doing it wrong sweetie come here, she says your a girl, you need to set the mood for yourself, she grabs the victora secret bag and pulls out the red lace set we picked out, and she says put this on for mommy, she lights candles, and when I step out I notice she has a magic wand, her dick is also out, it's very large, I'm nervous because I've never really done anal before, thankfully we arnt doing she softly presses the magic wand against My panties, and explains see how good that feels against your underwear hun, you need to press it against the tip, all thay stroking just tires your poor hands out, she rubs the tip with her thumb, and she wow it's so cute, don't worry you won't be using it for much anymore, mommy knows you have needs, I moan a little, and she plays with my hair, she slips my panties off, now pressing the vibrator against my bare skin, with a sharp click the speed increases, I moan more, mommy knows I'm close, and with a second click it's off, she runs her fingers down my hips, I want to beg but I'm speechless, with a third sudden click I'm back, she continues this for 30 minutes, until finally she holds it, I moan and it hits, bit she doesn't stop. I'm eventually a mess, I'm speechless overstimulated mess, the smell is in the air is sweet like flowers, she says hun, you need to learn patience, patience and trust in mommy. She reaches over into her drawer, she pulls out a pink flat chastity cage, she puts it on, I'm afraid it won't fit but somehow she effortlessly slips it on, and with a click it's locked, I squirm a little and she says hun, you were never meant to use that anyway, I will work you up to something better

Over a couple of sessions she anal trains me to take her, at first I'm hesstiant, I say no mommy plz. She said hun it's okay to me nervous, but it's gonna be okay, we will start small okay, no can you lay still or do you need mommy to restrain you, I say no mommy, she instructs me to spread my legs, she pulls out a small plug, she rubs lube on it and slowly inserts it, I shiver a little, the lube feels cold, it goes in with a light push, I moan as I feel it pass from some my rim to suddenly slippijg inside inside me, she says your such a good girl, she toys me around with the small plug, and than switches the medium plug when she does the medium plug I move a little more, she says mommy is gonna help you hold on, she restrains me with her under bed restraints, she said this should be easier for you, she slowly works up the sizes each time, praising me, and snugglkjg me after words

Overtime I settle into life with mommy, I don't think about money, anything super serious, mommy makes me food, gives me baths, cuddles me when I'm sad, helps me when I get sick. Mommy eventaully re teaches me household chores standing over me to make sure I do them correctly. Mommy understands I can't always do chores, she knows my spoons. She eventually does let me have internet, it's locked with parental controls and she has to be on the same room only 30 minutes a week too but I text my friends, I don't tell them where I've been, they just note I look healiter, like I grew into myself. I learn there isn't a point to resist mommy, listening to her has never resulted. I'm not embarassed I need a care giver, but I'm glad I realized it.

I don't know why exactly I wrote this or why I even want this, obviously this is a massive undertaking, most adults don't even care for their adult children this long, not to mention, the mix of wanting a strong caregiver, who provides me with a lot of support but also sex. Even if someone was willing your talking a massive risk given I'm essentially becoming 100% dependent on them. Why is my brain so messed up 😭😭 also I know grammar sucks, I'm tired.