I need some advice, regret about not leaving sooner,

The long distance relationship (with an old classmate) started in June 2023 and ended in November 2025. He cheated from June 2023 - May 2024. I stayed despite that.

I used to have a crush on him back in 2019. Because I was sentimental about it, I found it hard to leave. He was extremely disrespectful and dismissive throughout the relationship. Ever since May 2024, I knew I was with the wrong person, once trust is broken it can't be restored, and that he would never treat me right, but I just couldn't leave.

In November 2025 during an argument, I over-explained hoping that he'd take accountability (he has never done it), he started threatening me that he would play the victim to everybody I know, using my reactions to his actions. This is what made me leave, I wish I left sooner.

We went no contact but he would reach out and argue every 10 days until February 2026. I've been in 100% no contact since March 1st 2026, but I feel a lot of regret for the lost time, I wish I left earlier.

I know I miss him, I wish he was a good boyfriend, I feel angry, I feel betrayed, all these feelings will pass. I let myself feel everything, I do not distract myself, I journal, listen to podcasts, just sit with the emotions without having to analyze anything.

But the regret about the time wasted is the strongest of all.