I think my mom is a narcissist or having mental breakdown

This is super long sry

Also she mentioned something before all this about struggling with drinking, I wasn’t trying to ask too many questions because I don’t want it to turn into conflict but she told me her friend gave her advice to talk to someone that was a recovered alcoholic for some reason.

I don’t even know where to start,

For the last I’d say 3 months my mom (45) has been acting different especially towards me (19F).

She’s been very nitpicking about little things. For context around 3 months ago she lost her job, that had a great butterfly affect, and she lost her next job only having it for a month and that caused us my family me(19), sister (20) and sister(14) to have to stay in a one bed apartment.

Me and younger sister beds are on the floor in the living room, and mom and older sister share the bedroom.

At first clearly stressed and annoyed about the situation she nitpicked about where are clothing bags are. (All our clothes are in duffel bags as we don’t have anywhere else to put them.) They stay under the built in table attached to the wall.

Then it turned to nitpicking about space or not utilizing it to the best of our ability. Even suggesting we get rid of the bags with our clothes and put them in storage. Legit saying only have two shirts two paints and a pack of underwear is all we need.

Her and sister (20f) stuff is all in the closet Kindve taking all the space unlike me and sister (14) whose stuff is in duffel bag under table. I brought up maybe making room in the closet for our stuff but she didn’t want to.

As the months pass her complaints and behavior just gotten worse. A week or two ago ago I cleaned the bathroom and did laundry for bathroom and my stuff. Her stuff was in the dryer and I asked her if she could get it.

She was holding sick nephew and said she couldn’t and asked if I could get it. I said sure and asked for basket. She said she didn’t use one and told me to carry her load with my hands and walk to the room and put it on her bed.

I said I didn’t really feel like doing all that. And she’s getting snippy saying just do it. Then I asked if she could mover her chair, the chair she was sitting on was in middle of walk way. Between my bed, and entry to kitchen and to walk into bathroom I had to step over toddlers toy box and put my hand on chair evertime I walked passed. She refused to move chair.

At this point the baby wasn’t even being fussy anymore. Just in her lap watching Mickey.

Since she refused to move out the way I put her clothes on the rack instead of walking to her room.

To make a long story short she eventually moved the chair and I eventually put the clothes on her bed.

Anyways yesterday it got brought up again because ever since then she’s been making comments like I don’t help out or do anything for anyone. (Even though i literally did bathroom laundry that wasn’t any of my clothes, towels, washcloths)

and she’s saying something different that I never got her clothes and she had to get it herself. Accused me of having false memories and me reiterating is my subconscious mind lying to myself. (Like wtf)

Thing is she can’t describe in detail what happened she just says she forgot everything else and what lead up to it but remembers getting her clothes. And when I was adding detail she accused me of adding to it and I’m lying.

(I’ve never got accused of adding to a story so idk why I’d randomly start now)

When I have spats I just get upset I tend to vent to myself on walks and record it with the voice recorder app. I made it the day after it happened and all what I said yesterday is same as what I said day after.

And she also was saying stuff like I’ve heard you think we have a strained relationship. I never said that to anyone or her so idk what she’s talking about. I asked if one of my sister told her that and she said no.

Tbh I think either one of them lied and told her or she’s making it up and I told her idk why you’d think that because I don’t think that and never said that.

Ever since the laundry stuff she’s been unnecessarily rude and she was saying one of my sisters gets defensive then tried to say I get defensive when she tells me stuff and I say really? With what? And she says she can’t remember🙄

Then I say how I think she got defensive other day. This was new for some reason she felt need to tell me to clean bathroom even though I always clean it regularly so I said ok. Then I asked if she ever filled out her portion of fasfa. Then for some reason she got upset and said “the same way you put off cleaning the bathroom I put off doing the fasfa because I’m busy” then I said “what are you talking about??? You told me to clean bathroom and I said ok. How’d I’d put it off?”

So when I brought that up to her she agreed she got defensive then said it’s because I was rushing her about the fasfa and how “I want her to do something quick but when she asks me something I don’t do it quick”

Tbh I have no fucking clue what she’s talking about. I told her I asked her because it popped into my head and how is me asking her rushing her? That’s the first time I asked her about it in weeks and I just thought she forgot.

She later said she wanted me to clean the bathroom right then and there when she asked, mind you she left 20 minutes after all this. And I was like “oh, how am I supposed to know that?” It’s like she expects me to be mind reader. And I said “just because you were rushing me doesn’t mean I was rushing you.”

And I tried to take that moment of being on the topic to talk about how she’s been acting weird lately and making a lot of odd comments and getting snippy for no reason

She ended up saying “she’s the mom and gets irritable sometimes and kept just saying well she’s the mom”

And I said well if you act a certain way and some other person is unaware I don’t think it’s fair to get upset at their reactions to your irritable behavior when they’re not aware your irritable and it just comes off like she’s being rude for no reason.

Like even a few days before that me and her are in the car and she parks from what I thought. She shifted gears took off her seatbelt, and opened her door. So I opened the door to get out and she snapped at me and says “IM NOT PARKED!” And I said “sorry, I thought you started opening your door” and she said she did to check if she was in the line (white parking line) and I said “oh, sorry to me it looked like you were getting out” and she just had a very rude tone for no reason and was going on about it and I asked if she was parked now and she said yeah so I got out and left.

When I had brought that up later she tried to accuse me of locking the door on her after. I got up to the apartment and am used to just locking it. She didn’t come up till probably 8-10 minutes later.

And I was like “Is that why you’ve been rude because you think I purposefully locked the door on you?” And she said no but I don’t see why she would even say that if that’s not something she thought.

She constantly does that she projects something like rushing onto me then thinks I’m doing it back when I’m not even aware she’s doing that. And other small stuff she says I do. Quite literally taking stuff out of context putting her own idea as to why I did it then acting like I have ill intentions towards her.

There’s more stuff but I don’t want this longer than it already is. Also I started working so me and her haven’t even been talking most of the month because I’ve been so busy. That’s why this seems even more left field.